That’s what the message read. It was, of course, followed by 20 more messages. So, really, not done, just want you to react. Which I did.
Then I went home, and I don’t mean where I live, but the home of my heart. A dear friend’s dad wasn’t doing well and he needed some help. Something I was all too willing to do.
Whether it was going to my safe place or being surrounded by people who have known me for all of my adult life, I found my equilibrium. Or , perhaps, I found my inner bitch. The me who has never NEEDED anyone. The me who has chosen to WANT a few, select people in her life. Either way, I came to the place I now call home with an entirely new attitude.
It’s a whole lot more fuck you than why not me. A lot more good luck with that than choose me. Because, at my core, that’s who I am. I am selfish and often insensitive but when I choose to let you into my life, I would give you the shirt off my back both literally and metaphorically.
It doesn’t mean I don’t come with my own host of problems, because I do (did you miss the part about selfish and insensitive). But I am also passionate and caring and loving and giving. But I don’t let my guard down to just anyone. If you are one of the few, who make it past all of my walls, I promise a friendship, love, relationship worth all of the faults.
I will be your biggest champion, passionate lover, trusted advisor, biggest caller of you on your shit, you will ever know. However, break my trust, make me doubt myself or feel somehow unworthy, and I will banish you to the dark side of the moon. I’m told it’s cold there but hey, life’s tough and I am tougher.
So, Mr. I’m Done, hope you packed a blanket because the bitch is back.