Except, I don’t have a daughter. I have a son who, while excellent, probably won’t need all of these. So, perhaps, this would be better titled what I wish my mother would have told me.
- You will have to work twice as hard and be twice as good to be considered not even equal. It’s sad to say that the 21st century is well under way and this is still true. However, compliments of our unique ability to multitask, it can be done.
- Dress for the job you want, not the job you have. The world has become a much more casual place, but it doesn’t mean you get to be casual. Look at the people you admire at work and dress like they do. I can almost guarantee the boss isn’t dressed like a hooker unless you work in cathouse.
- Don’t play dumb, EVER. Not for a guy, a girl or any other inane reason. Be smart, be powerful and most importantly be a leader.
- Don’t let any guy or girl video you having sex (and before you look, I never did). There is no way to keep that quiet and if you ever get even a moments fame, it will come out. Just say NO!
- Protect your social media reputation. More and more companies are paying attention to what you do on the Social Networks. So, think twice before posting those Spring Break in Cabo pictures.
- People come into your life for a season, reason or a lifetime. Learn to recognize why a person is in your life and learn to let go when you need to.
- Don’t be afraid to fall in love, but you won’t fall into love with everyone you date or even sleep with. Don’t devalue those three little words by saying them too quickly or too easily. They will mean so much more for it.
- Not every guy or girl you date is going to be the one. It’s OK to have a Mr. Right Now as long as you are having fun.
- Don’t discount the awkward, geeky guy/girl because they aren’t “cool” enough or “hot” enough. It’s often the dark horse that wins the race.
- Look for friends, partners and/or lovers that compliment you but aren’t always the same. Being challenged is a good thing. You need someone or many people who aren’t afraid to call you on your shit. Your life will be richer for it.
- Be political. Don’t get your political views from the TV or your parents or your friends. Read, know the issues and form your own opinions.
- In your political opinions, don’t be a one trick pony. It takes a lot to make this, or any country, go. No single issue encompasses everything. Don’t let one issue influence other things that may intrinsically work.
- Don’t ever stop reading. It is how we not only learn, but grow. Read fiction, non fiction, blogs, whatever. Let your mind fall into the books and build new worlds within yourself.
- Know how to please yourself. And, yes I mean sexually. If you don’t know how to do it, how the hell do you expect a man to figure it out. Once you know what it takes, then tell or show your partner.
- When you buy clothes look for two things, quality and timelessness. Trust me those parachute pants that I just had to have in the eighties would not pass muster now even if I could still fit in them. That black Chanel skirt I found at a resale shop for next to nothing in the early nineties, however, still hangs in my closet.
- Care less about how much you weigh and more about how healthy you are. Curves are a good thing. Learn to embrace them but stay fit. It’s a hell of a lot easier to stay fit than to lose weight.
- Pregnancy is a condition not an illness. Unless there is a medical reason not to, work out, eat right stay active. It lasts 9 months (oh, who the hell am I kidding 10 months) and it is not a license to lay around and do nothing. I gave birth to a 9 plus pound baby boy and I walked out of the hospital within 5 pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight and I don’t live in Hollywood.
- Don’t feel compelled to have children. Society, family, friends and many others will put a lot of pressure on you to have children. If it is not your path, that is OK.
- There will be times that you want to run away, probably a hell of a lot more as an adult that you ever did as a child. Don’t do it. Figure out what is causing the feeling and then fix it. That may mean leaving a bad marriage, job, situation, etc. You control it.
- Have faith. I don’t care if you go to church every week or ever for that matter. But, know that there is something higher and seek comfort in that. And, don’t be preachy about it. It is your relationship and really only you need to know about it.
- Stand up for yourself. Ultimately, no one else will ever do it as well as you can. You are worth it and if you don’t believe it enough to stick up for it then why should anyone else?
- Know how to defend yourself, and, I mean physically. Whether that is a self defense class, a gun or pepper spray know what to do if you ever need it.
- You are not a bitch, or bossy, you are a leader – unless you are really being a bitch. Learn to know the difference and adjust accordingly.
- Learn to apologize. I mean really apologize, not just say the words. You will be surprised how often you will need to do it. But, with that said, only apologize when you need to. Women say the words “I’m sorry” far too quickly to ease a difficult situation. If you are saying those words to smooth someone else’s ruffled feathers and you didn’t do anything wrong, stifle the impulse.
- Have at least 2 really amazing female friends. Even if you like hanging out with men more, have female friends. They will laugh with, cry with, smile with and push you more than any male friend ever will. They will also be the people you will be able to run away with for a spa weekend when you just have to get away.
That’s it. I am sure if I thought for a while I could come up with 25 more things. But, I think this covers it pretty well. Oh, wait I do have one more:
Write thank you notes. No, really, WRITE THANK YOU NOTES!!!!